My Grandmother passed away a week ago. I was in 3 states in 5 days, traveling a total of 40 hours. Yes, 40 hours. 12 hours were in a car from state to state, the rest in air. Ok, so I’m tired.

Last Saturday we expected our relatives to meet up with us for lunch, but found out that they got held up for HOURS going through my Grandmother’s belongings, and figuring out what to do with her furniture. This is a woman who was living independently, before getting sick 3 weeks ago. So now, who gets what??

Most of my Grandmother’s children already have their own furnishings, and they ALL live out of state, but what about those special antique pieces that were hand-me-downs to her? What about her artwork, her computer (yes she was a very computer savvy senior), and her priceless baseball card collection? My Grandmother was an avid sports fan, and we joke that had a team she was rooting for been in the superbowl, she would have lived a few days longer.

I saw a sitcom many years ago that had the not so elderly mother inviting her children over to tag the belongings they wished to receive following her death. She wisely said that if the children were going to fight about it, let it be now, while she was alive. I think that is brilliant. I am not a fan of these equal opportunity families. I understand the concept behind it, but all children are not equal, some need more than others, and should be treated accordingly. Some have completely different taste as well. Why should one child be forced to deal with the breakfront if they would not wish it, while his/her sibling cant afford furniture, but it helped the parent divvy things out evenly?

I have twin brothers. If I come across an item one would appreciate, I buy it, not considering the other twin at all. This is from when they were children. And I am not just saying this since I may be in the position of needing more than my siblings. My parents are NOT reading this .

My Grandmother was old enough to outlive her money, and had been supported by her children (those who could afford to help), for the past several years. Since they already worked out that sensitive issue and pretty much still speak, luckily they will be able to actually mourn their parent and not get into these sticky situations that so many families do - at the expense of cherising the memory of their loved ones that passed on.

This entry was posted on Saturday, February 11th, 2006 at 6:54 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.